What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

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Make Nazis afraid again!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

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Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

What does it mean when someone says "I'm feeling frisky"?

TEXT:

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

I see ugly guys dating gorgeous, "hot" women all the time. I, too, am not very attractive but I'm not doing well with the ladies. What's their secret?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Where do high school kids get weed from?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

What is the story of how you met your spouse?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

What can be done to combat group stalking and harassment by an organized gang or society, particularly when they use universal sound weapons?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.